:) just me today.

25Mar08

I’m a bit tired, but I’m going to try to last enough to do this post.

I wanted to do a more personal post, since I mostly post about fun gadgets and random things over the internet.

Things have been rather interesting for me recently. I quit a great job I had and I’m considering going back to it. (even though my friends are advising me against it) I haven’t fully decided just yet. We’ll see.

I’ve been.. distracting myself a lot with random things. Some I won’t mention on here, and some I can.

It’s been rather difficult for me lately to find a purpose in life. I’m just kinda bumming around with nothing to do. I’ve kinda lost my ambitions to chase after my dreams, and I find it hard to find the passion to really do anything. There’s a lot that’s been going on inside my head that I just haven’t had the opportunity to release or rather. I don’t want to because the people I know I can tell don’t really want to hear it. They’re sick of my stupidity over something that’s just completely a waste of my time and energy.

But none the less, it’s been something that’s occupied my thoughts more than it should. And I just can’t seem to find the will the let go of those thoughts. It’s annoying. There’s some part of me that wants to be miserable like this and I just can’t find the way to fight against it. I feel myself losing grip on my own mind/actions. I’m letting my emotions run, rather than thinking things rationally.

At best, I can ignore these thoughts and distract myself enough to get through the day, but it always comes back into thought once I have nothing to distract myself with.

ugh. Is all I can really say. I just don’t understand why I have to fight so hard against myself. My biggest battle in life?

ME.

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One Response to “:) just me today.”

  1. 1 Llama

    Well with what we talked about yesterday.. if u plan to go back to Borders, just think about really good. I seriously don’t want u to hurt yourself over that person u have been crushing on. If you feel like your strong enough to just deal with it and not get hurt than go for it.

    Quote “I don’t want to because the people I know I can tell don’t really want to hear it. They’re sick of my stupidity over something that’s just completely a waste of my time and energy.”

    Well if they are your friends, than they would want to hear it no matter how stupid it is. Unless u keep talking about oh im going to jump off a bridge..or something stupid like that than i can KINDA understand.. but hey if u wanna do something u think is stupid and a waste of ur time.. just go for it.. i mean whats the worse that can happen =/. Remember u are young once and believe me i did alot of stupid things when i was your age.. lol that just made me feel mad old.. ne ways u know what i mean… if u feel like its worth it no matter how stupid than just do it.. plain and simple.. ppl should just give u advice on stuff not say DONT DO IT.. No one should be telling u what to do. But still ppl should listen to what u have to say no matter what.

    it seems like your going through a rough time and i am sorry. I know you have your friends that could help and if they don’t, i am here for u if u need me.. even though i live like 45mins away lol. I know i only met u like whats 2 months ago but i do care for u. The best i can do is just listen, give u a hug and tell u everything is going to be alright.


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